Why I’m Learning French at 50 (and Why It’s So Hard)

There’s something humbling about trying to learn a new language as a full-grown adult. Kids absorb languages like little geniuses—meanwhile I’m over here, staring at Duolingo wondering why “garçon” still trips me up some days. Science proves what we already feel: our adult brains aren’t as sponge-like, flexible, or forgiving when it comes to picking up a second (or third) language. And honestly? I think we’ve failed our youth here in America by not teaching languages early, when it actually sticks.

So why am I, at 50, juggling French verbs, nasal vowels, and grammar rules that feel like they were invented on a dare?

Because my husband and I have a dream: to live in France.

For years, the plan was to move there indefinitely. Then reality tapped us on the shoulder and said, “Slow down.” So we changed it to ten years. Then five. Then a few. Now? The plan is simple and flexible: move to France for at least one year and see how it feels—see how we feel—about truly assimilating.

This shift has nothing to do with France itself. Trust me, the food, culture, scenery, pace of life, wine, architecture, history… I could go on. Everything about France feels like a place we’d fall into naturally, with all its charms and challenges.

The change has everything to do with our two young adult sons.

They’re 22 and 21—too young to be thinking seriously about families, but old enough that we know that chapter isn’t too far off. And when that time comes, we want to be present. We want to show up. We want to be hands-on grandparents (not that we’re ready for that title just yet!).

So now, instead of picking one place over the other, we’re dreaming of balance. Maybe a life where we build a secondary home base in France—where we can immerse ourselves in the culture, language, and lifestyle we love—but still fly back easily and often to be part of our kids’ lives, and someday, their kids’ lives.

French may be hard… incredibly hard… comically hard at times.
But every new word learned feels like a small step toward the life we’re building—one where adventure and family can coexist.

And honestly? That feels worth the struggle.